I am not sure if it is really a' cultural 'occurence or is it simply a belief in - what we give , we sure get back... that I once again broach the subject of Teenage issues.
Under my previous titles I have emphasized the importance of Love, Communication, and establishing an open line of communication between your teenager and yourself. As seen ,today's growing concerns on subjects of Teenage drugs-addiction, alcoholism, pregnacy etc. it is all the more necessary that an open forum for discussion be established and brainstorm sessions between us parents take place before we are once again far behind the Chinese or the Japanese and even other so called third-world nations in such simple accomplishments as 'Child Raising' !!! Yes , it is time we parents all speak out or address this serious threat to our Youth.
The time is here, the time is now. Our teenagers are lost, not for their own waywardness but from lack of having a Torch-bearer who can stand by them and show them the way. Just superficially saying, Oh honey we are always there for you, is not cutting it as we can see. We have to ,literally, be there when they are confronted by issues of drugs, alcohol, premature sex , pregnancy etc. They must have a Solid hand right there for them that they can hold and feel that they are safe, without any prejudices or comments from their peers.... when they chose not to be a victim.
Tuesday 2 September 2008
Friday 25 July 2008
Home Alone - America by Mary Eberstadt
I am so impressed by this book which accidently fell in my hands on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 at a local discount store !!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited and want to somehow connect with the author of this book, because our thought patterns about what kids need is more or less in the same direction.
I am just begining to think that such subjects as covered by Mary Eberstadt or what I am focusing on, a little bit of love (even though you think your kid is all grown up and doesn't need you emotionally) is what needs to be re-focused and re evaluated by parents .... let us not hurry up in getting rid of the world's largest asset , that of parenting !
I am so excited and want to somehow connect with the author of this book, because our thought patterns about what kids need is more or less in the same direction.
I am just begining to think that such subjects as covered by Mary Eberstadt or what I am focusing on, a little bit of love (even though you think your kid is all grown up and doesn't need you emotionally) is what needs to be re-focused and re evaluated by parents .... let us not hurry up in getting rid of the world's largest asset , that of parenting !
Monday 14 July 2008
Not to be preachy but its a fact kids need love and attention
Teenage kids are still little kids who may have physically grown, but not necessarily mentally. Hence they need guidance in life.
Just looking at the kids raised in the two continents - Asia and America, it is sort of obvious that kids in America stop being' kid-like' the moment they become a Teenager. Why? Are they expected, parentally ,to act more responsible, independent and therefore inherit some of the
insecurity that goes alongwith being independent so early on in life? I am simply guessing.
On the contrary, kids in other parts of the world, typically kids raised in India , are still treated like kids by parents until they live at home with parents and therefore are subjected to much discipline but without an iota of love being compromised. Naturally , such kids seem to be able to handle the social taboos more with ease and decline than their American counterparts ...
They seem less likely to go astray under peer pressure for drugs, alcohol and the sort of behavior that creeps in due to the sudden sense of 'being an almost grown-up'.
Just looking at the kids raised in the two continents - Asia and America, it is sort of obvious that kids in America stop being' kid-like' the moment they become a Teenager. Why? Are they expected, parentally ,to act more responsible, independent and therefore inherit some of the
insecurity that goes alongwith being independent so early on in life? I am simply guessing.
On the contrary, kids in other parts of the world, typically kids raised in India , are still treated like kids by parents until they live at home with parents and therefore are subjected to much discipline but without an iota of love being compromised. Naturally , such kids seem to be able to handle the social taboos more with ease and decline than their American counterparts ...
They seem less likely to go astray under peer pressure for drugs, alcohol and the sort of behavior that creeps in due to the sudden sense of 'being an almost grown-up'.
Tuesday 8 July 2008
a little bit of love.... continued
Eleanor Roosevelt has said , " A Companionship with your child must be built. It does not just happen".
That being said , how many of us make it a duty to provide our children genuine companionship, as parents. I bet if we took a little survey, 3 out of 5 parents tend to be detached as soon as their kids become 'symptomatically' teenagers. I would say I tend to do that sometimes, even when my Crusade seems to be to NEVER for a Moment Let my Child be without my companionship.
It may sound too pompous, but it is true. My little world revolves around my child without any impression of "overdoing" it or "choking" her, and , if I recall it right, there was never a social event or an outing she did not go with me and my husband, when she was little. In fact, we almost always declined those invitations where children were not invited !!!!!! Yes, such extreme sense of companionship is what I am talking about here. And even today, when my child is a teenager its of utmost importance that we stay very close, aware always of her where about. The parents today might say that this form of behavior might thwart or limit their sense of independence , absolutely not, if done in the proper manner. Who could ever complain, specially our own children of being ever 'loved' too much ?
Just a little bit of love is all that is necessary to foster a companionship with our kids. Just try it, it never fails. Once again, some may call it a cynicism or a behavioral abnormality to take things so far just to prove a point... but I don't really care. To me, when you provide such deliberate and committed sense of belonging right from infancy and into the teenage years, the chances that your kid will ever keep you out of her or his world will be quite unlikely, in my opinion.
That being said , how many of us make it a duty to provide our children genuine companionship, as parents. I bet if we took a little survey, 3 out of 5 parents tend to be detached as soon as their kids become 'symptomatically' teenagers. I would say I tend to do that sometimes, even when my Crusade seems to be to NEVER for a Moment Let my Child be without my companionship.
It may sound too pompous, but it is true. My little world revolves around my child without any impression of "overdoing" it or "choking" her, and , if I recall it right, there was never a social event or an outing she did not go with me and my husband, when she was little. In fact, we almost always declined those invitations where children were not invited !!!!!! Yes, such extreme sense of companionship is what I am talking about here. And even today, when my child is a teenager its of utmost importance that we stay very close, aware always of her where about. The parents today might say that this form of behavior might thwart or limit their sense of independence , absolutely not, if done in the proper manner. Who could ever complain, specially our own children of being ever 'loved' too much ?
Just a little bit of love is all that is necessary to foster a companionship with our kids. Just try it, it never fails. Once again, some may call it a cynicism or a behavioral abnormality to take things so far just to prove a point... but I don't really care. To me, when you provide such deliberate and committed sense of belonging right from infancy and into the teenage years, the chances that your kid will ever keep you out of her or his world will be quite unlikely, in my opinion.
Sunday 6 July 2008
Should we put a little bit of Love in dealing with the Teenage Kids of today ?
I am a parent of a teenager. Typically I could, as most parents would like to believe about their own kids, say that my kid is a straight A student and someone who is an 'Exemplary' kid in social norms , among the kids her age. This is due to the ideal parenting that we, provided her . As such, not only is she a Firm and focused person in adherence to her values thus far, but she is also able to address it with her peers and often guide them away from a path of drugs, Alcohol and some more 'taboos' typical of teenagers today!!! Of course, some of us parents might attribute all of this behavior , of being a Straight A student, not Dating ,doing Drugs, or Drinking to our 'Culture'. Well, maybe it is , who knows.
Yet as a mother, I'd like to believe that I have been quite 'focused about the kind of' social values and norms I want my kid to adhere to, right from the time she was born!
Thus while most parents wake up to the shock of finding their kids suddenly change in behavior and beliefs due to the tremendous 'peer' pressure, or as I like to call it, the "Terrible Twos" of High School Life, I was sure my kid would not succumb to be the Statistic, if I may. That is precisely the point of my thought, just do it with a Little bit of Love, everyday!!!
You will see that it never fails . It has its own rewards . Its a majical charm with kids, specially your teenager!
Yet as a mother, I'd like to believe that I have been quite 'focused about the kind of' social values and norms I want my kid to adhere to, right from the time she was born!
Thus while most parents wake up to the shock of finding their kids suddenly change in behavior and beliefs due to the tremendous 'peer' pressure, or as I like to call it, the "Terrible Twos" of High School Life, I was sure my kid would not succumb to be the Statistic, if I may. That is precisely the point of my thought, just do it with a Little bit of Love, everyday!!!
You will see that it never fails . It has its own rewards . Its a majical charm with kids, specially your teenager!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)